Christian Communication-Prt 1

Christian Communication: Building Stronger Relationships Through God's Word

In our fast-paced world, effective communication often takes a backseat. Yet, it's the cornerstone of every healthy relationship - be it with our spouse, friends, family, or colleagues. The Bible, in its timeless wisdom, offers profound insights into the art of communication that can transform our interactions and deepen our connections.

There are four essential rules of communication rooted in Scripture, particularly from the book of Ephesians. These principles apply to all relationships and are especially potent in both preventing and resolving communication problems.

1. Be Honest

"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another." - Ephesians 4:25

Honesty is the bedrock of effective communication. But what does it truly mean to be honest? It goes beyond simply not lying. It involves putting away all forms of falsehood like:
deceit, secrets, exaggeration and so on.

Being honest also means we must speak. Silence, while sometimes perceived as a peaceful option, can be detrimental to relationships. We're not mind readers, and First Corinthians 2:11 reminds us that only the spirit within a person knows their thoughts.

However, speaking the truth isn't enough. We must speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 instructs us to grow in every way into Christ, who is the head, by "speaking the truth in love." This ensures that our honesty builds up rather than tears down.

2. Keep Current

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." - Ephesians 4:26-27

Addressing issues promptly is crucial for healthy relationships. Letting problems fester only gives the devil a foothold in our lives and relationships. Here are some practical tips for keeping current.

 3. Attack the Problem, Not the Person

While not explicitly stated in the passage, this principle aligns with the overall message of building up one another in love. When conflicts arise, it's easy to fall into the trap of personal attacks. However, focusing on the issue at hand rather than criticizing the individual leads to more constructive conversations and solutions.

4. Act, Don't React

This final rule emphasizes the importance of thoughtful responses rather than knee-jerk reactions. It requires self-control and often, a moment of reflection before speaking or acting.

These communication principles, grounded in Scripture, have the power to transform our relationships. They remind us that as believers, we have the Holy Spirit within us, continually helping us grow and mature through God's Word.

But why does all this matter? It matters because our ability to communicate effectively reflects our growth in Christ. As we learn to speak truth in love, keep current with our issues, focus on problems rather than people, and act thoughtfully rather than react impulsively, we grow "up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" (Ephesians 4:15).

Heather and I struggled with communication for the first 20 years of our marriage. We are both reserved individuals who often kept their feelings quiet. We appeared to have a perfect relationship to others because we never argued. However, this silence was not beneficial. It wasn't until we learned these biblical principles of communication that our relationship truly flourished. The last 10 years of our marriage, filled with open and honest communication, far outshined the first 20 in terms of love, growth, and mutual understanding.

This transformation isn't limited to marriages. These principles can revolutionize all our relationships - at work, with friends, and in our families. They demonstrate God's love for us, not just in sending His Son, but in providing practical wisdom for navigating life's challenges through His Word.

As we reflect on these communication principles, it's crucial to remember why they matter in the grand scheme of things. Our ability to communicate effectively isn't just about improving our earthly relationships. It's intimately connected to our relationship with God and our eternal destiny.

Consider this: If you were standing at heaven's door and God asked, "Why should I let you in?", how would you respond? Many might say, "I'm a good person," or "I go to church," or "I've been baptized." But the Bible tells us that none of these answers are sufficient. Romans 3:10 reminds us that "There is none righteous, no, not one."

The good news is that entrance to heaven isn't based on our own goodness or actions. John 3:16-17 provides the answer: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."

Our salvation, like our ability to communicate effectively, is a gift from God. We can't earn it through good behavior or religious observance. Instead, we receive it by believing in what Jesus accomplished on our behalf.

As we apply these biblical principles of communication in our daily lives, may we remember the greatest communication of all - God's message of love and redemption through Christ. Let this fuel our efforts to speak truth in love, keep current in our relationships, focus on problems rather than people, and act thoughtfully in all our interactions.

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